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As soon as they drop out of the playoff race,
this is where they put all non French speaking
members of the organization.
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Colorado Avalanche - The Colorado Avalanche have recently decided to give up all hopes of ever signing a big name UFA ever again. "An interesting move." agree all the analysts who are required to point out that they’ve also decided to start giving up any player selected higher than second overall to injury.
Roberto Luongo - When asked what he was giving up for lent, Robert Luongo uttered, "Cory Schneider." He has since been informed that this is not an appropriate sacrifice, and has stated in frustration that he'll just give up what he always does: playoff success.
Tim Thomas - Tim Thomas told Garth Snow that he would be giving up all forms of social networking, right before handing the phone back to a giggling Peter Chiarelli and Paul Holmgren, asking if he wanted to trade for Marc Savard and Chris Pronger.
Toronto Maple Leafs - The Toronto Maple Leafs have decided to give up any notion of a second line, and are instead trying a new strategy of moving all second line talent to the third line and putting a mostly unmovable pile of 11.5 million dollars on the ice for their second line. To the surprise of many this seems to be working for them.
Mikael Grabovsky - Speaking of Toronto’s second line, the unmovable part of that pile of money has decided to give up the recommendations of the media and will continue to model his play after Alexander Burrows.
New York Islanders - The Islanders want to give up DiPietro, but the local Bishop has advised them that Lent does not nullify legal contracts.
Boston Bruins - The Boston Bruins have decided to give up playing a goalie stating that they think they can score like twice as many goals without one.
Brian Burke - A disappointed Brian Burke found out he would not be able to give up 3 high draft picks for one decent player this year when the Columbus Blue Jackets announced that they would hire Jarmo Kekalainen as their next GM.
Matt Cooke - Matt Cooke has decided to give up on ending the seasons of star players with upper body injuries after he found out that he can end their seasons with lower body injuries and not get suspended.
The NHL - The NHL has decided to give up their attempt to be more like The NFL and get rid of their replacement refs... wishes every fan, everywhere.
Toronto Maple Leafs - The Toronto Maple Leafs have decided to give up any notion of a second line, and are instead trying a new strategy of moving all second line talent to the third line and putting a mostly unmovable pile of 11.5 million dollars on the ice for their second line. To the surprise of many this seems to be working for them.
Mikael Grabovsky - Speaking of Toronto’s second line, the unmovable part of that pile of money has decided to give up the recommendations of the media and will continue to model his play after Alexander Burrows.
New York Islanders - The Islanders want to give up DiPietro, but the local Bishop has advised them that Lent does not nullify legal contracts.
Boston Bruins - The Boston Bruins have decided to give up playing a goalie stating that they think they can score like twice as many goals without one.
Brian Burke - A disappointed Brian Burke found out he would not be able to give up 3 high draft picks for one decent player this year when the Columbus Blue Jackets announced that they would hire Jarmo Kekalainen as their next GM.
Matt Cooke - Matt Cooke has decided to give up on ending the seasons of star players with upper body injuries after he found out that he can end their seasons with lower body injuries and not get suspended.
The NHL - The NHL has decided to give up their attempt to be more like The NFL and get rid of their replacement refs... wishes every fan, everywhere.
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