Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Anti - Streaks

"Hey aren't you supposed to be completely naked when
you're streaking" "Well aren't you supposed to read the CBA
before handing out offer sheets."
Today in the NHL: The Columbus Blue Jackets look to continue their 5 game winning streak before hosting the Chicago Blackhawks, who will be looking to end a 2 game losing streak, on Thursday. Wait a second... After double and triple checking, it looks like that is indeed the case. Well, that kinda ruins my whole NHL streaks post I was planning on doing. This is sort of awkward. How about streaks in the NHL of things that rarely happen? Like the Blackhawks losing or the Blue Jackets winning. Well, as it turns out there has been quite a few of those in the past week. Lets take a look and see what they are.

Scott Gomez - SCOTT GOMEZ IS ON A GOAL SCORING STREAK!!!!! Oh thank you Eddie Shore. I decide to make a post about streaks and you deliver oh so well. It's like Christmas morning, in the sense that this only happens once a year. Granted his two goals were separated by a game where he was held pointless, but it's Scott Gomez. I think we can let him have this one.

Wade Redden - WADE REDDEN IS ON A POINTS STREAK!!!!! HOLY PIROUETTING ZDENO CHARA BATMAN!!! I think we should all take a second to move to our respective apocalypse shelters that we built for 2012. Looks like we'll finally get a use for those.


Ok now that we are all safe... Wade Redden seems to be riding a 2 game point streak that includes an assist in a game that Scott Gomez scored a goal and an assist. By one of those fantastic coincidences the universe seems to keep throwing at me for this article, the two are set to play against each other again tonight. I think the best bet for us all is to ride out that game in our doomsday shelters just to be safe.


P.K. Subban - According to a very reliable source of mine, who just happens to be a Montreal Canadiens fan, P.K. Subban has not dove this entire season. I think she told me this at the beginning of February but I’m sure his streak is still going strong.

Chris Pronger - Chris Pronger ended his streak of not making reporters shit themselves when they try to ask him a question. It's about damn time. Watching his press conference this week all I could picture was the reporters shaking in the corner as they ask him questions. I love it. Also it's nice to know that he can’t hurt any players on the ice with dirty plays anymore, much to the relief of Ryan Kesler, who can now get a whole 20 minutes a night of feeling safe.

Fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs - The fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs seem to have gone about a whole week or so without calling for the trade of the only half decent players on their team. It’s a situation I think should be monitored carefully. Nazem Kadri didn’t get a point last game, so if he doesn’t get one tonight they’re in a serious danger of relapsing. If you know a Leafs fan who begins to relapse sit them down and show them this. By the time they stop sobbing any slumps will probably be over.

Rick Dipietro - Rick Dipietro is not on a streak per say, (his starting streak has been broken up by his backup)  but he has started 4 games in the past week. Good for him. I could make an injury joke here but they have all been said and I’m rooting for this guy. Go Dipietro. I’d love to see him make it back to the NHL. I just thought I’d let you all know he has started 4 games and has been steadily improving.

Patrick Kaleta - Patrick Kaleta hasn’t been a dick on the ice in about 10 whole days. This is a very impressive streak for him. Maybe next he can try contributing to his team in a maybe, say, offensive manner rather than a cheap shot on one of the opponent's stars. It's just an idea, but for now 10-ish days straight of not being the dirtiest player on the ice in the entire league is a pretty good accomplishment for him.

Sidebar: If you want to argue that Patrick Kaleta is not the dirtiest player in the game I have only two responses for you.

1. As much as it pains me to admit it, Matt Cooke has cleaned up his game a bit and I think it's time we all accept that.
2. No. You’re wrong.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! My favorite part was the part where all the Leafs fans cry.

    ReplyDelete