|Despite Ilya Bryzgalov's theory I can confirm|
Goalie Magic is not extraterrestrial.
There seems to be a trend here. Besides the obvious one of holy shit Dominik Hasek is absurd but, rather theres seems to be lower numbers on the right than the left. Now most of you probably don’t care but I bet a few of you are curious to why this happens. Well you are in luck because I am about to save you the sleepless nights that it takes to discover why this is. Goalie Magic. Goalie Magic is running through every goalie everywhere. Think of Goalie Magic as the Force only for hockey. It’s how Tim Thomas can come out of nowhere at 30 something years old and win 2 Vezinas and the Conn Smyth but Rick Dipietro is back stopping an AHL team. Goalie Magic is all powerful and is literally the only thing between you and being a starting goalie in the NHL (except for the Flyers. The only thing between you and the starting job for the Flyers is that you don’t own goalie pads yet.). It can give you skill and then as soon as it gives it to you it can take it away. Do you think I am crazy? Allow me to prove it to you.
Andrew Raycroft - Loser - Raycroft broke onto the scene in 2003 at the young age of 23 and with the help of Goalie Magic captured the Calder. The prevailing theory is that Raycroft then annoyed the Goalie Magic who then took all of Raycroft’s talent and then to show its sense of humor gave all of that talent and then some to Tuukka Rask
Henrik Lundqvist - Winner - Legend has it Goalie Magic impregnated a Swedish model through immaculate conception. There was so much raw talent that a second child was needed for the excess.
Martin Brodeur - Winner - It is unclear whether continued exposure to the source of Goalie Magic is required for continued success but just to be safe I have a team following Martin Brodeur.
Steve Mason - Loser - Steve Mason shares many similarities with Andrew Raycroft. Winning the Calder in 2009 at an even younger age of 21 again with the help of Goalie Magic. However instead of just annoying the Goalie Magic, Mason down right pissed it off.
Antti Niemi - Winner - Antti Niemi spent the early part of his career as a Zamboni driver. He then presumably did some type of good deed that pleased the Goalie Magic. Perhaps he helped some young child practice hockey in the wee hours of the night like all Finnish athletes.
Rick Dipietro - Loser - I like Rick Dipietro. I’m a big fan of the comeback story. However Goalie Magic down right hates first overall draft picks. Fleury has had some success but by no means elite.
The Philadelphia Flyers - Loser - I won’t say that Santa and Goalie Magic are friends but the Flyers drafted the most goalies between 1999 and 2009, have 7 years left of Ilya Bryzgalov, and traded away a current Vezina nod. You cruel unforgiving bitch Goalie Magic.